Julie Samrick
Kid Focused
I'm fascinated by a trend that's growing stronger: boys are asking girls to formal dances with the sort of over-the-top gestures that rival grown men proposing marriage. Remember, the latter are men asking women to share their lives with them, compared to teenage boys asking girls to accompany them to one hours-long evening. There are stories circulating during this homecoming season (and prom last spring) of boys impressing girls via fireworks, a football stadium full of witnesses, public twerking and lots of documentation on You Tube.
Apparently several years ago reality teen stars on the show Laguna Beach first aired this dance proposal idea. Kids across America followed suit, making it the norm today.
It's nice to see chivalry isn't dead, but it's too bad for that shy guy who just wants to call up and quietly ask the girl he likes from geometry to go to the dance.
One local mom I spoke to said her ninth grader would like to go to the homecoming dance, but he's too nervous to put himself out there like that. I'd bet a lot of kids feel the same. It makes sense that another trend is equally prevalent: groups of girls go to these dances without any guys.
Another mom of teens I spoke to said it's all about peer pressure. "One kid does something cool and then everyone has to follow suit or they're the loser," she said.
Yet another mom really got me thinking when she said, "I wonder if some of the desire for romantic gestures comes from living in a very casual world now. People rarely dress up; dating and relationships are casual; communication is casual now with texting. Maybe girls (and possibly some boys) yearn for more romance, so thus we have one place where romantic gestures are acceptable - the dance 'proposal.'"
I think she hit it right on. This reminds me of another trend in the past decade: holidays have become grander and flashier, but the true meaning behind them has been blurred. Christmas decorations are bigger and better than ever and thanks to marketers jumping on our need for special occasions, they're in stores ever earlier each year. Easter egg leggings and glittery candy cane shirts are now staples of nearly every little girl's seasonal wardrobe and mega-hits like the Elf on the Shelf promise more special memories with our little ones. Meanwhile, less people actually go to church in preparation for the religious holidays. Instead, more and more holidays are cropping up. Did you celebrate Pi Day or Dr. Seuss Day when you were a child? They are full-blown holidays now.
In the end, our yearning for tradition, meaning and more extraordinary experiences just might be because we've relinquished those things in other areas of our lives.
Julie Samrick is a stay-at-home mom of four young kids and the founder of Kid Focused, a site devoted to children and family issues. Subscribe to the free Kid Focused newsletter delivered weekly to your inbox and connect with us on Facebook too. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.
