Dr. Laura:
All my life, I've been around women who complain openly about their husbands, and what their men don't do for THEM. I never joined in on the husband bashing, because compared to their "horror stories," my husband was a saint! But over the past year, I've fallen into the "victim wife" pattern - I was disappointed, because he wouldn't make special occasions "special" enough. He would almost never bring me flowers or other small gifts. Then I stumbled on your book "
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," and it was a revelation! It made me realize that my husband was coming home to a grouch - ME!
Last week, I tried an experiment that you mentioned in your book. Instead of complaining about the kids driving me crazy, I instead asked him how HIS day was. I spoke with a cheerful voice. I didn't hang out in my pajamas all day. I showered and fixed my hair. I had dinner ready when he came home, and I greeted him at the door happily and not with a tirade of the day's affairs. I took care of our baby so he could relax and enjoy his meal. We had a wonderful romantic evening.
The next day I continued the same behavior, and when he walked in the door from work, he had a bouquet of flowers in his hands. All I can say is "Wow! It really works!Thank you for reminding me of the wonderful power we women have for change in our homes.
Christie
