Misery is one of the easiest states of mind to slip into. Oftentimes we do things that make us miserable without even realizing we're doing them! Here are the most common culprits:
ComparisonMuch of what makes us unhappy comes from beating ourselves up over not being as good, talented, successful, or well-liked as someone else. I remember a talk show host in Los Angeles some years back who, when people asked him how he was doing, would reply, "Better than some, not as good as others." I love this mantra. No matter who you are, you are always going to be better than some and not as good as others.
Denying Reality Reality can be quite disappointing, painful, upsetting, frustrating, and frightening. However, as much as we don't like it, we have to accept reality and deal with it. Can you become better at some things? Yes. Can you become better at EVERYTHING? No! I could study physics 10 hours a day for the rest of my life, and I would not be a physics expert. I don't have the ability. I can't stand it when parents tell their kids that they can be anything they want if they apply themselves because it's not true. You have to be practical.
Me, Me, MeYou will always be miserable if you make everything all about you. If someone isn't smiling, it's because they don't like
me. If someone doesn't answer your email right away, it's because they're not thinking about
me. People have their own lives that don't revolve around you. Don't take everything personally.
Nothing to Live For We all need to have a purpose in life - something to focus on that's meaningful. I hear from many callers who are unhealthily invested in someone else's life (an errant adult child, a ne'er-do-well family member, etc.) because that gives them a false sense of purpose. Find a more meaningful place to invest your time.
Unhealthy Lifestyle Your mind and body are one. If you don't take care of your body, your mind will follow suit. So eat right, get plenty of sleep, and exercise.
NegativityMany callers tell me they want to do something, but then they give me a list of excuses as to why they can't. An excuse is simply a reason not to do anything different. You need to remove "can't," "won't," "don't want to," and "it's hopeless" from your vocabulary. Nothing is hopeless if you give it your very best.
Ingratitude Be grateful for every moment you are here on this planet, and make the most of those moments.
