Hiya, Dr. Laura Schlessinger here and this is our magnificent, "splendiferous" YouTube channel, where I get to answer your questions. And this one's from Bonnie:
"I recently made the painful decision to end a friendship of 25 years. [Oh, that's too bad.] My former friend has made some very destructive decisions in her life (including 'shacking up,' bringing men in and out of her children's lives, and most recently bringing drugs into her home) and I realize no amount of love or support on my part is going to make her change her behavior.
The problem is with our mutual friends. Some of us get together every month, and it's been a source of strength and support for all of us. None of the other women agree with or support what our friend is doing, but they're fairly meek and non-confrontational, so they won't speak up or be honest with her.
By removing myself from my friend's life, do I have to remove myself from this group of women, who are going to go on as before? I'm torn, because I do get a lot from their friendship."
Okay, ground rules. They can have a get-together with her and we can have a secondary get-together with you, with her left out. And just tell them, "Whether or not you're willing, able or interested in saying anything to her, I can't be with somebody who's being so destructive in their children's lives." By the way, if you know that she's bringing drugs into the home where there are minor children, you ought to be calling Child Protective Services and the police department. Boy, won't that make a stir?! But yeah, we're here to protect the kids first so that's something I want to remind you of.
But I would say to the friends, "Our friendship is now going to exclude this concept and this person because anybody who puts children in jeopardy is nobody I want in my life." It's amazing how decent people tend to be wussy. I'm glad you're not one of them because the wussiness permits the badness to gain strength, and to grow and proliferate. So good for you; I'm proud of you. But call C.P.S.
I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Be back next time, right here on our YouTube channel.
