If not for you, Dr. Laura, I would not have known that it is so easy to make my husband happy by being his girlfriend and treating him sweetly. I wouldn't have known to cling together when times are tough rather than fight, argue and compete against each other as my parents did.
My parents were not involved in drugs, but I see now that Dad was and is a functioning alcoholic. I felt loved as a child, growing up knowing I would always have food and a house to live in. But it took me until the age of 58 to see that my parents were actually destructive. They are negative and sulk when they don't get their way. They fight and bicker all the time, creating a stressful environment when we visit. I learned something about myself after a particularly awful four-day visit. I was keeping the peace, particularly with Mom. That's when I realized I needed to step up. You're the one who helped me discover that time is too short to waste on people who are constantly negative, who can never get enough attention, who are always the victim, even if they are your parents. You taught me that I can be polite, make sure they are taken care of (but also realize that I don't have to be the caretaker) and end any conversation I have with them if it starts to go badly.
I also stopped complaining to my husband over and over about what Mom said or did. I have girlfriends for that. You helped my husband and I raise three children who are responsible people of character. You said not to nag grown children or they won't come to visit, so we don't, and they DO call and visit frequently! Keep up the good work. I'm still listening to your pearls of wisdom and taking notes!
Susannah
