Dear Dr. Laura
I wanted to write to you and express my gratitude for your advice and commentary, because you have allowed me to see how fortunate I truly am I had a wonderful man raise me.
This June 2 would have been my parents' 49th wedding anniversary. My parents brought 5 children into this world, and endured many tribulations over the years. They have experienced losing an uninsured home to a fire, very nearly losing their oldest child to a near fatal accident, resulting in being wheelchair bound ever since. They have endured through the struggles of us, their children, who have often put them through unspeakable stress. They have experienced crippling poverty, and my mother very nearly losing her life to cancer, surviving and enduring together.
His dignity and stiff upper lip were ever present, including through extended times of unemployment, as our area was hard hit by the recession of the 80's. He kept his head high, and while we struggled, he kept swimming upstream, unabated.
He was a musician, and gave me the gift of music. He taught me rhythm, melody, harmony, cadence and the beauty of language in lyrics. He taught me the art of discipline, learning the guitar, though my fingers bled, and learning to play piano, though classical music bored me as an adolescent.
He taught me I was special, pushing me to expect more of myself. He taught me I was worth more than being "some guy's" past-time, and I had no business with anyone who didn't treat me as well (at least) as he did.
He taught me not to take myself too seriously. He made me laugh. He made all of us laugh.
He taught us commitment. Through all that he and my mother endured, they stuck by one another. There might not have always been passion, as you say, but they always remained compassionate and respectful. It paid off as they grew old together, as they had promised to do. On their 45th wedding anniversary, my father humbly presented my mother a card, and asked with his usual impish wink, "Will I do until the right one comes along?"
When I got married, I got married for life. I married a man with glowing integrity, a warm heart and a brave spirit. I married a man who stuck by me through illness, and a man who stuck by me despite our life plan not unfolding as he first saw it.
I stay at home with my children, and he takes care of us. I see my father's love for my mother and his children reflected in the man I chose to father my children with compassion, dignity, integrity and honour. My father walked me down the aisle on my wedding day, and with tears in his eyes, he "passed the torch". He hugged me tight and told my husband to take good care of me. My husband promised he would.
My father died unexpectedly July 11 of last year, and I will never, as long as I live, forget the gift I was given through him. I also, as I said, want to thank you for making that gift so evident every day through your words.
Thank you.
Deanna
