Recently, you took a call from a lady who sought advice on how to cope with a "needy, yet loving, husband" requiring "a lot of affection.” Your response was right on the mark in that she will lose him to another woman if she doesn't wise up.
Two years ago, I would have described myself as a DUFUS: Dumb, Ugly, Fat, Unlovable, and a Slob who didn't care how I looked. My 5'4" frame was carrying 170 pounds, putting me in the "obese" category.
What turned the tide for me? In 2011, a good friend of mine challenged me to shed my excess poundage, and agreed to be my accountability buddy and my exercise partner. A little over a year later, I had dropped over 50 lbs.! Since then, I maintain a healthy weight of 120 lbs. because I have completely altered my lifestyle. I look forward to exercising at least 4 times a week to the point where I am drenched in sweat after each session. If I'm experiencing a bad day, the exercise completely restores my peace of mind.
While undergoing this massive weight loss campaign, I treated myself to a drastic makeover where I changed my hairstyle, my hair color, and my make-up routine. In addition, I transformed my attitude so I no longer view myself the way I did before. I now respect myself and have a lot to be proud of.
Although I don't have a man in my life (and I have yet to date since my divorce was finalized in 2008), I have chosen to focus instead on the blessings in my life by participating in a range of meaningful activities that involve work, volunteerism, and fun pursuits. Fortunately, I lucked into a career that I love, and I practically leap out of bed every morning to start my workday. Three of my high-school girlfriends and I are going to the Bahamas this spring for some well-deserved R&R and catching up. Finally, I am a devoted "pet parent" of a beagle/springer spaniel crossbreed - an absolute sweetheart of a dog who is my constant companion. Amazingly, I no longer (or VERY rarely!) fret about my lack-of-man-in-my-life status because of the richness of my life!
One comment you once made rocked me to the core: "Agonizing over what is not, is an insult to what is." Perhaps this caller should take your philosophy to heart before her husband gets too exasperated and walks out on her.
Sincerely,
Marian
