Hi Dr. Laura,
I would like to offer my perspective on mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. I believe the mother-in-law, being older, needs to be able to set a positive tone for the relationship, right from the start. As you have said on the air, the mother-in-law has had many more years of experience on the planet.
If the parents-in-law allow the young couple to have the space and autonomy they need to carve out their life together, that couple will be most appreciative. The couple will be inclined, then, to want to spend time with their parents and in-laws. If the young couple feels they are able to set the terms of family engagement and not encounter resentment from parents or in-laws for doing so, the relationship will blossom beautifully. It is their turn now to live out their marriage and create their family life.
A mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship requires particular sensitivity and respect. And again, I feel it is up to the mother-in-law to "lead" in this regard and to model mature, loving, respectful behavior for her daughter-in-law. This relationship has such potential for being a strong one! I hope to get a chance to be this mother-in-law to the spouses of my adult children. And Dr. Laura, I think you will be a fabulous mother-in-law, by the way. You are always honest and kind, and with those two qualities, everything will be well. You have a great sense of humor, which is so important for healthy relationships. You and your daughter-in-law are going to have fun together...and after all, that is the key, isn't it? - Fun. On a more sobering note....I would say "woe be to the mother-in-law" who intends to drive a wedge between her son and her daughter-in-law. This is definitely trespassing on sacred turf and is destructive to all. But it's best to focus on the positive and to expect the best. Support, love, trust, autonomy.....ingredients for any healthy relationship.
Sincerely,
Lisa
