After I left home, my parents divorced. It was a long time coming as their relationship was almost intolerable because my mother constantly put down my father. Some comments were deserved, but they never should have been done in front of us 3 kids or in the manner she chose. I believe that hurt my self-image as a man and later as a husband because I gave too much relationship power to my wife.
After the divorce, my older brother was caught in the middle with a much younger sister which he assumed a lot of responsibility for both financially and emotionally.
I was lucky. I only had to deal with my mother's forever unceasing criticism of my dad, even after he died. She constantly wanted me to take sides as if that mattered anymore. Holidays were the usual problem of who do we visit and I dare never to mention my dad. Sometimes she would bait me and ask how he was, then get upset that I had knowledge.
One of the saddest things I find about divorce is that it is literally the death of a family and all that a family means, including memories never to be shared again, obliterated by the divorce.
Michael
