Dearest Dr. Laura,
I am my kids’ mom (ages 3 and 1) and for a long time that is all I thought I needed to be. Slowly I watched as my marriage slipped into the nightly bickering routine right before my eyes. Well, I didn't so much watch as I actively participated in its deterioration. I found myself complaining AT my husband for the most trivial and random things. I watched this beautiful, strong, provider of a man starting to break.
Then, months ago, I heard you on the radio talking to a whiny woman who sounded just like me. Although I’ve been a listener since childhood, it only just then clicked for me: If you want to keep this wonderful man, the father of your children, STOP what you're doing and appreciate the hell out of him.
So I am here to tell you I've been both: the bitch who whines about unimportant details to try to make him prove he loves me at any and every moment... and NOW the girlfriend/wife who writes him love notes daily telling him how much I appreciate him: the work he does day in and day out to allow me to raise our babies; the way he fills up my gas tank without me having to ask him because he knows it makes my life easier; the Saturday mornings when he wakes up with the kids so I can get an extra 30 minutes of sleep, etc. Our marriage has blossomed into something so beautiful I don't even recognize it in the best possible way. I want to do these things for him, I want to show him how much he means to me because I see his shoulders broadening with pride each time I do. I also see him more actively involved with the kids and with me. Nice begets nice and mean, well it does the same. I have been both the bitch and the girlfriend and the girlfriend suits me beautifully. I think I may even have a glow if I do say so myself!
Thank you, Dr. Laura. It’s not always easy to take a step back and say, "Hey maybe it’s me. Maybe I need to change.", but it is ALWAYS beautiful when you take that change head on and turn it into something you never dreamed of!
I AM MY HUSBAND'S GIRLFRIEND and proud of it!
Jessica
