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Letters From Listeners

Sometimes the Mistakes of Your Youth Cannot be Undone
01/12/2012

Dear Dr. Laura:

I have been an avid listener for years, and it has helped me survive a lot in my life. I wish I had listened in my youth. My lesson is for young people.  I had struggled to put myself through college for 7 years, and had a bad family situation where I did not speak to either parent because my dad had left my mom for a younger woman and my mom was an alcoholic to cope with the devastation. After years of struggling, I met a dynamic man who seemed to rule the world and decided I was tired of struggling, so I married him - never completing college.

He turned out to be abusive to me and our children, and after trying to make it work for years, I took the kids and left early one morning with just the clothes on our backs.  I have struggled every day since, and lost everything we built trying to keep my kids safe from him. I did my best to teach the kids to make a better life for themselves and teach them morals, through example.

My daughter thrived in high school and even dated a wonderful boy. However, when she went to college, everything came crashing down, and she dated a boy much like her father. She is now leaving college, not seeing she is repeating my mistakes. Even though we were terribly close, she blames me now for her childhood.

Not only did I ruin my life, but her life will be ruined and I will not be able to be a part of a happy family as a grandparent. My main points to your readers are: sometimes you can never undo your mistakes of the past, and never start your own family to escape your childhood. You not only ruin your life, but your family for generations.

N

Tags: Abuse, Marriage, spousal abuse
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