Dear Dr. Laura,
When I got married a quarter century ago, I had a life plan in my head. I'd be a career woman like my mother and her mother and my mother-in-law AND then I'd also be a mom. In my head, based on all the advertising and media I'd seen, I could bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan, or so that popular slogan went.
After my husband and I had a baby girl, I remember looking down at her sleeping in the crib and getting all choked up with my tears flowing. "WOW! This tiny human being is depending upon me to be her mom." In that moment, I realized life was no longer about me. It was about this little baby. Now her needs would come before my own, while I would learn to serve and take the back seat.
Back in the 80's and 90's, Baby Boomers were parenting throughout a tidal wave of materialism that flooded the media and influenced our culture and if both parents worked full-time, you could have more. In the years that followed, I'd deflect the pressures from women around me who insisted I put my daughter in day care so I could "contribute" to society in a full-time job. They'd make disparaging remarks. And even though this was the voice of our culture at the time, in my heart, I knew that raising my daughter had to a top priority. I got confirmation of this when my daughter was 2 years old and I happened upon one of your broadcasts. You were explaining your stance on parenting. And when I heard you say, "I am my kid's mom" I realized that it wasn't just a few of us making parenting a priority. You were there proclaiming the truth to the masses: That parenting takes sacrifice and sacrifice is hard work and the hard work of parenting is priceless.
When my daughter got a little older, I took stock of all my skills and looked for flexible work I could do while she was in school or I'd take jobs where she could be with me. While I didn't climb the corporate ladder, I accepted work teaching swimming and ice-skating, writing articles for publication, etc. Nothing glamourous, like I had originally imagined pre-family, but I was always right there whenever my daughter needed me. When my daughter's high school graduation day arrived, I knew I had given her my everything. In a blink of an eye, my child-rearing responsibility was 'poof' - done. I had sacrificed, did the hard work, gave all my love and time. I had no regrets and a treasure trove of precious parenting memories... Now that's priceless. Thank you for being that voice of clarity!
Respectfully,
Rebecca
I'm my two kids' mom ten years apart in age. Care for my children like I tend to food on my plate...gotta finish one serving before I tend to another.
