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07/26/2018
Dear Dr. Laura:
Growing up, my parents gave in to most of what I wanted - even into my preteen and adolescent ages. If I really wanted to go to a friend's place or party, they would start out by saying no, but could almost always be convinced by my whining, crying and listing endless reasons why I should be allowed to go. As a result, I learned to expect to have my way in life. Along with this, any time I was signed up for lessons like swimming, dance or music, I would always want to quit after the first easy levels and would again use whining and tears to convince them to let me do so. They gave in with little resistance, not wanted to see me upset.
Now, at age 29, I would describe myself as wholly and completely incompetent, with little to no self-confidence to speak of. I've been fired from multiple jobs, am noticeably uncoordinated, and struggle to be a team member who is useful rather than the weakest link. Thinking the goal in life was to get my way, I justified deplorable behavior all through college and in my early twenties. I lied to get where I wanted to go, and even broke the fidelity of my relationship because I felt entitled to "feel good" at any cost. I have since stopped these extreme moral transgressions after learning firsthand the extent to which society and friends will shun you based on your actions. But the damage feels irreparable.
So, parents please, please please be hard on your kids. Make punishments swift and severe and consistent as Dr. Laura has recommended. Praise kindness and good deeds. And prepare them to be someone they can actually face every day.
Stacy
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