Hi Dr Laura,
I just listened to a caller described how I used to be. She talked about calling the teacher and then the counselor about her 14-year-old son failing a class. I thought, "Wow! That is something I used do!" From the age of nine, my son has struggled with social anxiety and depression. I was constantly trying to "fix" him and decided everything for him.
He is now 17. Recently we were chatting and out of the blue he said "Why do you always feel like there is something wrong with me or that I need to learn a lesson all the time?" I was so shocked! I could not believe he said that. My first thought was to come to my own defense. Then I realized he was right. For most of his life, I have controlled every move and thought he had.
Today, I no longer micromanage his life. I am still here for him, but I let him make his own choices. And if he fails, he knows that I will be here as a support, but not a crutch.
M.
