Dear Dr. Laura,
My hubby and I had a breakfast conversation this morning that had you and your advice written all over it with a chuckle at the end and I had to share.
You are always saying that priors take priority over the new. And that any woman or man who demands that the new partner with prior kids put the new relationship first over their kids isn't worth the trouble. Plus, you are always saying that the purpose of dating is to determine if the partner is a match.
So at breakfast, Hubby mentioned his co- worker, who is getting a divorce, had said she couldn't wait to be rid of her husband. My man then reminded her she'll never be rid of him because they have kids together.
I told him that story reminded me of a podcast call I had just heard the day before from November where a woman called your show about her divorced parents who had both remarried. Her dad and new wife never came to her house for Christmas and she always had to load up her three young kids and go there and she was tired of it. Your advice was to inform her parents and their respective spouses that Christmas was going to be at HER house this year and they are ALL invited to attend. It was up to them whether or not the grandkids were worth the trip and the effort it would take to get along with each other for the day. If her dad and his wife declined the invite, then respond with, "Oh well. You will be missed." If they asked her to load up the kids and go for a visit afterwards, just say, "No." Your point was that she will see if her kids are worth the effort, since you could not see how any grandparent would not crawl through broken glass to see their grandkids, especially on a holiday.
My hubby agreed with all you said and if that if anything happened to our marriage, he would never let any woman keep him from his son and/or grandchildren. Hubby said, "Yep... she'd be gooooone."
Then Hubby said, "Well, that's why you date first and find this stuff out BEFORE you get married." I said, "Yep, that's another Dr. Laura pearl of wisdom."
Then Hubby said, "But I won't have to worry about any of that. Unless you plan on leaving me..."
I smiled and said, "Heck no! Are you kidding me? I just figured out how to put up with your crap... why would I want to find a new one?"
To which he laughed out loud and we hugged and kissed.
Love you and take care!
Lisa
