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07/20/2015
My husband and I have four sons. I called you a few years ago because my oldest son was being bullied in school. Your recommendation was that our son stand up for himself so the bullying would stop. My husband and I gave that instruction to our sons.
Earlier this school year, our second son was in the PE locker room and got involved in an altercation with another boy. As reported by the school, the other boy started it. During the course of the altercation, the other boy started CHOKING my child. I found out when the school nurse called me to let me know he was in her office. Clearly, I was furious. Unfortunately, I was more than 30 minutes away, in the middle of an appointment. Thankfully my husband was at home, just waking up from working his swing shift. He is a police officer and his hours are often long and very hard on the family.
When my husband got to the dean's office, he was told he needed to sign our son out from school and come back IN A WEEK to discuss the matter with the dean. He refused and let their office know that he would not be leaving without speaking to the dean. The secretary argued with him; stating the dean was too busy. He simply sat down and calmly told her he would not leave. The dean made time to speak with my husband and our son. She explained that although the other boy did choke our son, our son was being suspended because he pushed the boy off of him. She explained the district has a hands-off policy and he should have sought help from an adult. Then she started telling our son that in the real world, if two adults are involved in an altercation, they both go to jail. At that point, my husband interrupted her and said, "Don't lie to my son. That's not what happens in the real world." She looked at my husband, surprised and asked, "And just how would you know?" That's when my husband looked at our son and said, "Why don't you tell her what I do for a living?" and our son did. My husband explained that pursuant to our state's laws, the primary physical aggressor goes to jail, not someone defending themselves.
In the end, our son was still suspended because of the district's policy. However, we were so proud of our son for standing up for himself that immediately upon leaving the school, my husband took him out for ice cream and told him how proud he was of him and he didn't care about the suspension. I married an amazing man, a rock star. He is the best part of my day and I'm so proud to be his adoring wife.
Jen
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