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11/23/2015
Four years ago, I was pregnant and listening to you at work. As a six-figure-earning doctor with a cushy desk job, I had it all (or so I thought). I considered myself exempt from your stay-at-home mom preaching - I was a career woman who had been in school till I was 30, and I was about to become a mom, and unfortunately, I prioritized in that order. 9 weeks after my daughter was born, I was back at work. While your voice was speaking to me daily, I justified my situation by believing I was irreplaceable at work and that my flexible schedule permitted me to visit and breastfeed her during the workday as needed. Our high incomes allowed us to hire help, build a dream home and our precious daughter wouldn't want for anything....except maybe me.
18 months later my husband got a job offer across the country. I grew some balls and told my employer that I was going to work remotely from home or not at all. It's been 2 years, and we now have a son. He's never been within the confines of an institutionalized childcare setting nor in the arms of a nanny. He is with me every day. As for my daughter, I'm raising a child who feels proximity to her mother despite the first year and a half. I still harbor significant regret, but it's never too late to do the right thing, become a real woman and "mommy-up." I've learned the hard way that you can never get that time back.
My husband is happier, and my employer kept me on. I work before the kids get up, while they nap or after they go to bed. It's exhausting, but so rewarding to experience my kids on THEIR time, all the time. My ongoing story has a happy ending, but it took time, reflection, and resourcefulness to arrive here. If you bring those precious kiddos into this world, make them YOUR world from the beginning.
Molly
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