I believe second marriages are harder because of all the baggage from the past that comes along for the ride, combined with step-children and the fact that both people have had longer to get set in their ways.
I found love after 50 quite unexpectedly. After dating several losers, (the pickings are slim after age 50!), I decided not to spend any more time or energy looking for a man, and prayed if God had someone for me, He would drop him in my lap. Six weeks later, I met my current husband. Neither of us had planned to ever marry again. He turned out to be the love of my life. The year and a half that we dated was the best of my life. We had a rough first two years of marriage, but have since developed a very loving, close relationship. I attribute this mainly to two things: 1) When my husband became aware of how his behavior was negatively impacting our marriage, he CHANGED. That action alone was amazing to me, but that he did it FOR me and us meant the world to me. 2) I have learned to be sweeter and more respectful of my husband in my TONE of voice. We have each made changes for the benefit of our relationship and by doing so have strengthened our bond. We have complete trust in each other. My love for him is based on admiration and respect for his character which I considered of utmost importance, having NOT had this in my first marriage. Our marriage just gets better and better and we just celebrated our 6th anniversary.
I have learned how to be a better wife by listening to you, Dr. Laura, so thank you for taking the time to educate me.
Linda
