Dr. Laura Blog

I get so many calls from people wondering how to have a happy and healthy marriage, and it's really not that complicated. Some of you even say that you've grown apart. However, couples don't grow apart - they stop paying attention.  If you remain interested in your spouse and make your marriage your priority, it will be impossible to grow apart. 

Maintaining a happy marriage requires only two things: 

The first is, choose wisely! Marriage isn't this cute little plant you find on the side of the road and decide to keep for a while until it dies. No. It's serious. It's work. It's commitment. It involves both people being emotionally, mentally, and spiritually ready. I can understand that you may have pity or compassion for that dying plant, but that's not a reason to get married. Leave it by the roadside. 

Secondly, treat kindly! Now, for some reason, this concept seems to confuse a lot of people. If you're unsure about how to treat each other, go back to the beginning stages of your relationship and do the things you did to attract each other in the first place. For example:

Touch
Kiss, hug, lean against each other, and hold hands when you're walking in public. Touch is so important. It takes away feelings of isolation and loneliness. 

Express Gratitude
Be grateful for your spouse. Do nice things for each other. You don't need to make it an extravagant ordeal - it's the little things that make the biggest difference. 

Talk
By talk, I don't mean surface conversations about the kids, the annoying relatives, or the bills, but deep, meaningful conversations where you share your thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams. Connect with each other on a deeper level by talking about the depth of real life. 

Date Night
Make a time where nothing else in the world exists except for the two of you having a good time and enjoying each other's company. 

Plan things
Having something to look forward to together is so important. 

Laugh
Laughing together is as important as touching - it makes you feel connected and defuses stress.    

If you follow these tips (and continue to follow them), you and your spouse will be on the right path to a satisfying and fulfilling relationship.