Dear Dr. Laura,
I have been a long time listener. I hear callers say they have been long time listeners and yet do the opposite of what your advice is. I am one of those! I've been married for 28 years and my husband is an alcoholic. I tried for years to "fix" everything, but to no avail. A caller said she was upset about her mother being an alcoholic. You said, "She's a drunk, you can't do anything." No words can be as true as that statement.
I filed for divorce and left the home. I thought it would be too hard to do and was afraid. Drunks make you afraid, anxious, feel guilty and many more mental abuses. On the contrary, I am doing much better than I ever imagined. I have found my kindness and tenderness again and my positive attitude. I have also weeded out negative acquaintances and "so-called friends". My husband and I agreed I would stay home with our son and he would be the supporter, as it should be. He has been very successful and now throws it in my face that I didn't "contribute" and will end up with a lot of money. It used to make me feel bad. Now my thoughts are "cry me a river!" I deserve it. I would rather not have the money and still have my family together but it won't happen with him drinking. Many women/men are left with nothing, so I am grateful. I do not, nor will I never regret raising our son. He's 22, attends UT Austin in the Cockrell School of Petroleum Engineering. He's pulling a 4.0 GPA and is a caring, gracious young adult. His father worked 24/7 and when he did talk to our son, it was about finance, business and so on. My son said, "Mom, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't be the man I am. I love you so much and thank you for being a wonderful mother and teaching me ethics, values and how to be a good person." You can't top that!
Although we have been through hell and back, our story is a success story and a learning experience. I go to a PhD in family counseling and my son does as well. We are on the road to a good life.
I hope others can read this and know that leaving a poisonous relationship is the best thing to do and there is LIFE to live and enjoy. Fear is not an option for me any longer. I am a warrior now! Thank you for your wise words. I'm getting your podcast!
Patty
