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Letters From Listeners

Is This Your First Marriage?
04/22/2014

Dr. Laura

I was in the hospital, minutes after my grandma passed away, when a sweetheart nurse asked me a question, after my husband went out to start the vehicle. "Is this your first marriage?"  "Ummm YES!" This is not the first time I have gotten this kind of question. I have also gotten it in the form of "Are you still with your son's biological father?" WHY are these questions even thought to be acceptable?!? I didn't have my son on purpose just to leave his father. I didn't get married to my husband just to find another one later. Keep in mind I am 'only' 28 years old and I am finding society's views on 'normal' to be anything but normal.

My husband and I have been together almost 11 years and married almost 8. My husband worked as an over-the-road truck driver until recently. He then took a job at the local co-op so he is home every night. He did this because he was missing too much time with our son.

I was beginning to think our lifestyle was abnormal. I am a stay-at-home mom and we live within our means - not always having the newest or nicest things. I am great at bargain shopping. After I picked up your book, "Stupid Things Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids", I felt like I had found someone who understood. We don't have a brand new house or car, but we don't need them either. So many people are caught up on spending money they forget to spend TIME with each other. Thankfully, I am able to stay home with our son, take him to and from school and now since his Type 1 Diabetes diagnoses, I go the school every day to give him his insulin with lunch. My husband and son are my world. I do odd jobs that allow for a little extra money, but they don't interfere with our family time.

I cooked lunch at a local day care for 8 months this past year and I was APPALLED at how the kids were treated: Like dolls in a toy factory. The workers were inconvenienced to be there and the kids kept acting out, crying and calling the staff 'Mommy'. It broke my heart.  I'm SO glad I didn't choose to dump my son off there just for some extra cash. Yes, money gets tight, but we didn't have him so others could raise him.

Lacey


 

Tags: Budget, Finances, Marriage, Social Issues, Values
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