By Harry H Harrison Jr.
www.fearlessparenting.com
As we are deep in the era of feel good parenting, there has been a worrisome trend regarding the health of our kids. Yes, we want them to feel good about themselves. No, we don't want to embarrass or certainly ever humiliate them. But the bottom line is, our kids are growing, well, fatter. That is such an un-pc word that many parents will shrink in fear of even thinking such a thing. And the fact that this is a condition that tends for various reasons to impact girls more so than boys makes it even more intractable. But while it's important for our kids to have good self-esteem, it's even more important for us parents to realize the difference between a healthy weight, overweight and really, really heavy one.
The obesity situation in the United States now is alarming. Childhood and adolescent obesity have become an epidemic. Studies by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry show that between sixteen and thirty-three million children and adolescents aged 12 to 19 are obese! Not overweight. Obese. That's over 20% of the entire teenage population! And these numbers are on the rise. As a result, growing numbers of children and teens are at increased risk for diseases traditionally seen only in adults, including heart disease, different cancers and type 2 diabetes.
A lot of factors go into the question about if your teen is the right weight. For instance if your son is 5" 10" and plays left tackle for his high school football team, he's going to weigh a lot more than what is considered "normal" for someone his height and age. At the same time, if your daughter is a long distance runner, she may be considered too thin compared to her peers. So in many respects "normal" is relative.
But obese isn't relative. A child or teen is considered obese when his or her body weight is in excess of 20% of what's considered normal. The surest way to answer this question is go to the CDC website - Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and enter http://nccd.cdc.gov/dnpabmi/ which is a Body Mass Index percentage calculator. Fill in the form and you will be told in no uncertain terms whether your child is underweight, overweight, healthy or obese.
You will be given specific directions as to whether you should see a healthcare provider or simply change her routine, such as eating healthy foods, drinking more water, getting more physical activity everyday, limiting television viewing (which in today's terminology means anything with a screen) and getting an adequate amount of sleep.
But what's troubling is that, parents shouldn't need a BMI calculator to know their daughter is very, very heavy and potentially obese. But sometimes the BMI percentage calculator is a wakeup call to parents who keep thinking their daughter will change. That she'll suddenly start eating salads and join the swim team. Which of course, for the most part is just wishful thinking unless the parents take action. What kind of girl tends to be obese? She's naturally shy, finds it difficult to make friends, her mom tries to make her feel good with cookies, and slowly this girl turns from a heavy child to an obese teenager. She has absolutely zero tools to quit eating or start exercising. Soon food is her best friend only now it's also her worst enemy. She doesn't go shopping with other girls because she's embarrassed about the size of clothes she requires. She has few friends. She's depressed. Hurt. She knows what girls and boys say about her. Her only relief of pain is to eat even more.
The situation becomes more cloudy with the emphasis parents have on making their kids feel good. Some clothing stores have spring up to dress "heavy" girls which is cool, but these stores do little to help the problem: their customers are killing themselves.
There are some specific steps parents can take to keep their "heavy teen" from becoming obese.
- Plan meals and eat dinner as a family. Meal planning means macaroni and cheese go, but lean meats and fresh fruit and vegetables stay.
- Eat meals at a specific time so you daughter isn't prone to snacking.
- Keep unhealthy foods out of the home.
- Encourage exercise. The bottom line is your daughter is taking more calories in than she is expending.
- Do not use food as a reward, or to make her feel good.
- Control portions. Do this by eating slow.
- Focus on your child's strength's and positive qualities more so than just her weight.
- If you or the other parent is obese, start a weight management program now. (50% of obese teens have one obese parent.)
- Don't assume you know what your daughter is eating outside the home. There are snacks at schools, friends and the mall is where calories can fly to outer space.
- And failing all this, seek the help of a doctor.
An obese teen has an 80 percent chance of becoming an obese adult. And this will sentence her to a life of heart disease, high blood pressure, breathing problems, risky sexual encounters, depression and trouble sleeping. Plus she's at an increased risk for all kinds of cancers. And at all costs you want to avoid lap band surgery, but in some cases it's a better idea than the humiliation your daughter feels.
So look up from your iPad this morning. Look at your daughter. Do you see a healthy, happy girl? Or something else. If so, be the parent. Take action now.
Harry H Harrison Jr. is a New York Times best selling parenting author with over 3.5 million books in print. He has been interviewed on over 25 television programs, and featured in over 75 local and national radio stations including NPR. His books are available in over thirty-five countries throughout Western Europe, Eastern Europe, Norway, South America, China, Saudi Arabia and in the Far East. For more information visit www.fearlessparenting.com. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.
