Hello Dr. Laura,
I am a married 25-year-old mom of 3 sons. I have been married to my husband for almost 5 years. We did it all backwards and went against so many things that you preach. We started dating when I was 14 and he was 18. We had our first son when I was 19 and got married when I was 21. A career move relocated us from our family. When we were supposed to be having fun and learning about who we are, we were instead building a life from scratch with a 1-year-old in tow. It was a very tough time and we threatened to get divorced many times. We pushed through and got relocated again closer to our respective families, this time with a second son in my belly.
During the next 3 years we fought off and on, and talked a lot about divorce. Somehow my husband stayed with me even though I was completely irrational and liked picking fights. I wanted to see him fight for me and longed for attention which stems from having parents who weren't any good. We did not understand each other and more importantly did not respect each other. We were all wrong and our poor sons had to watch all of this happen. I had to grow up in front of them.
When I discovered you, it had such an impact in my life that I even remember the exact date March 16, 2013. I used your words of wisdom as a benchmark in my life. I did not have a mother teach me the things I have learned from you. Thank you for being my surrogate mother.
A year ago we had yet another son and my world exploded with the demands of 3 small kids. I completely lost my mind and ended up getting professional help. I don't know how my husband put up with me, but I truly thank God that he did. I never wanted to be a SAHM and purely because of you I am and I will never regret that. I know I am doing a great job as a mom and finally have my life under control.
It's been a little over a month since my life has taken a huge turn. All of a sudden it has clicked. I either had a personality transplant or I finally became a mature adult. My husband and I have a rock solid and respectful relationship and my kids have a mentally stable mom who is mastering "the look" as opposed to yelling erratically. I can see now why you preach not to be married until 28. I was a child. It would have saved so much heartache for all of us if we had waited. Luckily for me though, I married a real man. He is extremely dedicated to us and puts me and our sons first. We did everything wrong and somehow became so right. He truly is my best friend and we are raising our kids to your standard. I am so tearfully grateful for you. My kids thank you, for now they have a respectful, loving, intact family. They now have a mom who puts them first, teaches them moral lessons, and who would swim through shark infested water for them. I did not know how to do this before listening to you. I wish I could thank you in person someday. Thank you for everything from the bottom of my heart.
Josie
