My biggest regret was being too polite and too stupid, but smart enough to realize that arguing with my sisters would have been pointless. My 3 sisters are feminists and even though they are stay-at-home moms, they literally order their men around and demand they do 50% of the share of everything, even changing the babies' diapers. It is mortifying to watch them snap at their husbands. They picked wisely but the men picked poorly.
I did not pick wisely in that I have to work to help pay the mortgage, but we lost the house when my husband got sick and lost his job. When my husband and I were both working, my sisters used to cause trouble by being rude to him and making sure my husband watched the kids at family gatherings. It was funny and sad to watch my sisters pick up my girls and bring them to my husband so he could watch them. They did not seem to care that I wanted to be with my girls 24/7 when I was not working. I allowed their ideas to color my view as a wife and breadwinner. I added to my husband's feeling of inadequacy by nagging him. Instead of being there for him, I was not supportive emotionally. Now, I am happy he is just home with us. I realize I can only control how I act and so I think about what I want and need before I speak. We no longer "own" a house, but we are happier. We are a family and recognize each other's strengths and weaknesses. I am also told by others that our kids are the best well-mannered and almost trouble free kids: 19, 17, 15 year old girls. We are blessed.
Frances
