I've heard you advising women to use a condom when having sex with a cheating husband to protect themselves from STDs that could kill them as well as leave their children motherless. I've also heard some of these women blow you off like you were an idiot for suggesting something so ridiculous in their minds.
Nine years ago, my gynecologist called me with the results of my pap smear. But she asked me an odd question first: "How is your marriage?" I told her things were great. But then she told me that it appeared I had cervical cancer most likely caused by the HPV virus and I would need more testing. I refused the additional testing because I hadn't cheated on my husband and we'd been together 17 years, and he certainly didn't cheat on me. My denial was telling me that I was in the less than 1% of cervical cancers caused by HPV.
Within one week I started chemo and radiation and then underwent a total hysterectomy. My husband didn't stay with me the first night after the surgery and he never brought the kids to the hospital to see me, but even all that didn't convince me that my husband had cheated. For years afterward, I went to all the checkups by myself and I still wasn't clued in. After all, husbands didn't bring home STDs!
Ultimately, my eyes were opened, and I divorced my cheating, alcoholic husband two years ago. I almost died and left two school-age kids motherless because of my own naivete and denial. Husbands can and DO bring home STDs if they cheat, and it CAN kill you. To your listeners who think your suggestions are ridiculous, I say don't be naïve or stupid about your life. They should absolutely listen to you, Dr. Laura!
Arlene
