Dr. Laura Blog

Congratulations! You showed some good sense and broke up with someone who wasn't good for you. Now comes the hard part - how do you stop missing them? How do you keep yourself from going back? Here are eight tips to get you through this tough time: 

Be patient 
You're not going to feel better overnight. There's always an adjustment period. You have to take time, and during that time, you need to remember why you broke up. Be patient with your loneliness and need for companionship. People who are willing to endure those unpleasant feelings survive and do better in their lives. Those who don't, continue to screw up their lives. Ultimately, it's up to you. 

Work through your self-doubt
When you break up, you may start doubting or blaming yourself. One of the reasons you do this is because if you blame yourself, you think you have the power to fix the relationship. That's why it's really helpful to talk to somebody reasonable, explain the reasons why you broke up, and ask if it's actually your fault. 

Find the silver lining 
Now you're available to get healthy and be with somebody healthy. Your whole life is not going to be off track anymore. 

Remove all reminders
Delete and block cell phone numbers and emails. Get rid of all the memorabilia. Remove them from social media. Use one big eraser so you can get on with your life.

Fill your time 
If you don't fill your time and distract yourself, you're just going to sit there and ferment about everything. You may even go back because they tell you things will be different.  

Get social 
Socializing doesn't necessarily mean you start dating right away. You shouldn't date while your head is still screwed up. Just become social again. Join a team or club. Force yourself to move on. Moving on doesn't mean you don't feel feelings; it just means you get reinvested in life. 

Get physical
It's amazing how physical activity helps with stress. It burns off nervous energy, anxiety, and negative emotions, releases endorphins, and gives you a sense of power and well-being. 

Have a support system 
Your ex may try to play games with your head. That's why it's important to have a support system which helps you recognize it and not get caught up in it.