Dr. Laura Blog

Dealing with your spouses anger in a positive way can be tricky. If the situation is violent, you shouldn’t be there to begin with. When you’re dealing with a screaming fit, it’s important to know what to do.

1. Remember that anger is secondary. They might have a ferocious look on their face, but chances are that they are on the verge of tears. 

2. Take a breath and don’t yell back. Keep your tone and behavior calm. When someone is yelling, it’s easy to yell back. Feeding into the anger will get you nowhere. 

3. Keep the environment soothing. Sit down to talk and keep your voice at a soothing level.

4. LISTEN. Don’t just encourage them to talk about what is causing their anger, actually listen to validate their feelings and do not become defensive. 

5. Relax. Your adrenaline is still spiking, even though you’re staying calm and relaxed. Just remember that it’s a normal reaction to being yelled at and overcome it.