By Bob Grantwww.relationshipheadquarters.com If you asked 100 men what they look for in a woman, you may get 100 different answers. Some men like blondes. Some like brunettes. Some like tall, willowy women. Others like short ladies. Yet if you ask a man who's currently in a relationship what is important in a mate, an important trend emerges.
Being in a relationship with a woman who's beautiful doesn't mean much to a man if she's rude, selfish, or demanding. Often women forget that men are attracted to who they are and not just what they look like. Good looks may catch his attention, but who you are inside is what will make or break the relationship.
Here are 5 qualities that inspire a man to stay devoted:
Honesty If there's one trait that men value more than anything else in a woman, it's honesty. That may seem awfully boring, but it's actually huge. Honesty means more to a man than most women realize. Look at it this way: From a guy's perspective, the woman he is going to give his heart to is going to have a tremendous amount of power over him. This is especially true if he marries her.
If he's going to give her that sort of power, he absolutely must be able to trust her. Trust is his most valuable gift he can give her (at least in his mind). If she is dishonest, it makes him question whether he can confide in and depend on her. Telling the truth may sometimes be uncomfortable and at other times may be hard, but showing your man that he can trust you to be honest with him at all times will do wonders for your relationship.
PatienceWe've all heard the proverb, "Patience is a virtue." Patience is key to a lasting relationship. But what exactly does it mean to be patient, anyway?
Sometimes, women think of patience in terms of being tolerant. That's not what being patient means. Patience means thinking before you speak or act. For example, if you and your man get into a disagreement, stop and ask yourself this question: "Is this worth fighting about?" If it is, then bring it to his attention immediately, if it's not, be patient with him, hold your tongue, and move on. The little things are worth letting go.
There are definite occasions when you should not tolerate his behavior. If he's unfaithful, abusive, or constantly rude or disrespectful, don't tolerate it from him. This isn't the time to be patient and accept it.
Not at all. If it is worth confronting him about, tell him that you want him to change what he's doing. Give specific examples. If he doesn't change and the issue is vitally important to you, consider whether or not you want to stay in a relationship with a man like this. Patience is wonderful when it comes to small things. Let them fly. Yet when it comes to big, harmful things like infidelity, tolerance does much more harm than good. A good man will respect the woman who knows the difference.
Kindness Men can't resist a woman who is truly kindhearted. This means so much more than simply being nice to a man. Men measure kindness by how you act when he's done something wrong and he's genuinely sorry. For example, say he missed an important event. He forgot it and is genuinely sorry. Do you forgive him and move on, or do you hold a grudge and purposefully "miss" an event that is important to him?
When he's feeling vulnerable, do you stick it to him or are you gracious? It is possible to accept his apology while conveying how his action hurt you while still forgiving him and moving on. If he's feeling vulnerable and you don't take advantage of it, he'll be incredibly attracted to you. Men want a woman who is genuinely kind and will stick by his side through thick and thin, good and bad. If you can be that woman for him, he'll never let you go.
Believe in Him There's not much sexier to a man than a woman who truly believes in him. In fact, research shows that if you believe in a man's dreams, he'll naturally be more attracted to you. What does this mean? You don't have to show a burning passion for each of his goals and hobbies in life. You don't have to take up an interest in Fantasy Football or golf tournaments. However, if you tell him that you believe he can accomplish anything his heart desires, you'll turn him on in magical ways.
For example, say your man wants to start his own company someday. It may sound a bit crazy to you, but if that's his passion, encourage him to do it. When you believe in him, the dream feels real to him. It feels attainable. He wants you to believe in him, and if you do, he'll be able to do miraculous things.
Sometimes a bit of motivation and encouragement from you is all he needs to get the ball rolling and shoot for the stars. If you truly pay attention to him and listen to his hopes and dreams and then tell him you have faith he can accomplish those goals without telling him how to do it, you'll create a deep emotional bond and build a strong, lasting relationship.
Be Valuable Here's a secret that most women forget - men like expensive things. What's more, men actually want you to view yourself as a woman of exceptional value. Some women mistakenly believe this means they are to act in a condescending and aloof manner. But that's not what men consider valuable. Women who know they are valuable are, above all, happy with themselves. This acceptance of themselves frees them from the dreaded belief that, "If I were only better, a man would love me." Developing this quality can be as simple as learning a new habit.
If you feel you're lacking any of these qualities, the good news is you can obtain each of them. The secret is to understand a principle that can transform your life. Here it is - What you do is more important than what you feel. Here's what it means. If you begin practicing the trait you want to acquire, initially it will feel strange. Yet, if you continue to practice acting like you're expensive or practice patience, you'll soon notice a difference in yourself that men will notice as well. Given enough time, these new qualities will become a part of you, and the man in your life will find himself wanting to be around you often.
Bob Grant, L.P.C. is the author of the bestselling book,
The Woman Men Adore...and Never Want to Leave. For over 20 years, his unique insights have helped thousands of singles and couples experience the relationship they have always wanted. Learn about these secrets by visiting him at
www.relationshipheadquarters.com. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com
