Dear Dr. Laura,
I emailed you last week when I was having a really hard day. I was cleaning my kids rooms that was littered with garbage, toys, clothes, and a broken hair accessory of mine. I was so upset that I took away their clothes and toys and put them in my control until they could show me that they could handle the responsibility of having them. I did let them have their one special stuffed animal though. I did, however, break their crayons in half and push in their brand new markers. Did this stop them from making messes? No. They just did it with other household things instead.
I learned a valuable lesson this week: there is nothing that can replace consciousness and consistency in parenting. Having less toys has made it easier for my children and I too easily see what is out of place, so I'm keeping their toys up until further notice. But, they are in no way sacrificing or more sad because of the less toys. I've found just the opposite! My husband and I were saying how creative and optimistic our kids are, because they are making fun wherever they go and with whatever they have. They could have fun with an empty roll of toilet paper. And if I take that away, they could have fun with a string on their clothes. I started this endeavor thinking one way, and came out with a totally different lesson.
For now, it is I who needs to be consistent about making sure they clean up the room they are in before leaving it. I also reaffirmed my stance that toys are not a necessity to a happy childhood. This afternoon, my 4 year old and I baked together and she can crack an egg better than some adults! I got to rock my baby before her nap this afternoon. I had the pleasure last week to use those broken crayons and markers with my 8 year old daughter, when we were doing very challenging regrouping math homework. Her and I were so proud of ourselves for coming out of that alive! I love that my 5 year old boy just hugs and holds the baby just because he feels like it. Toys were in no part of any of those happy memories.
I am so grateful that I can stay at home and enjoy these moments, so as to keep the love alive and flowing. Thank you for being there for me to write to. You continue to inspire me daily, when I reflect throughout the day, about the choices I've made in the past, present and future. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Elena
