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06/04/2015
My mother left my father when I was 2. My dad did the best he could raising two boys and me. He devoted his life to us and never tried to disrupt our lives by bringing another woman into the household. Meanwhile, my mom has gone through three relationships. With each one, she allowed herself to be treated like trash and when these men left HER, she would lose herself and her dignity and beg them back to her. It was really unbecoming.
I am now 30 and have managed to have an identity of independence. I have morals and values, but I have never found myself afraid and helpless when I am alone. I have never walked around with an "I don't need a man" attitude, but truly I didn't NEED one to survive. I met and married a wonderful man. When we were dating, my dad became afraid I would become dependent on my boyfriend, but let go when he saw what kind of woman he raised me to be.
Recently, my mother-in-law, who is painfully feminist, tried to tell me she felt the MAIN reason my husband was drawn to me is because I am such a "caretaker" and I do everything for him: dishes, laundry, clean house, and tell him how much he is adored. She even said, "You basically act like his mother, only worse, and you need to stop."
I am proud to be a doting wife and have been struggling to digest my own mother-in-law can't even express appreciation for the way I love her son. To her, my actions are weak and breed selfishness. Not only are my actions as a devoted and loving wife insulted and mocked, but my husband's acceptance of such love is considered "selfish" by many women we both know. From you, I've learned not only are positive remarks about my marriage good, but even negative ones are compliments too. I am proud my identity is too loving and caring and my husband is seen as "selfish" for taking care of us and working.
I am a devoted wife, HEAR ME ROAR!
Ashleigh
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