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04/19/2018
Dear Dr. Laura:
My mother knowingly married a convicted child molester when I was twelve years old, and he abused me until I "ran away" from home at 21. To this day, my mother denies any knowledge of his actions, even though I had him sent to jail! Because I have you in my soul, Dr. Laura, from listening to you all my life, I knew I had to break ties with my bio-family. I had to mourn the loss of a mother who was still living, and I was her only child.
However, as an adult, I have allowed myself to be loved by others and have opened myself enough to love others as well. I have women in my life who don't have daughters or who don't have daughters active in their lives with whom I've formed mother-daughter-like relationships. They love my children as their own grandchildren, and they treat me like a daughter, even down to calling me "Dottie" for "Daughter of My Heart." That enables me to have a healthy adult mother-child relationship before my own children.
I've heard callers on your show in situations like mine. Just because we have to let go of a mother who didn't love us doesn't mean we have to face life without a mother figure. If we open our hearts and our eyes to those around us, we can fill a void in the life of one who is missing what we can give, and they can fill that empty spot in OUR world. It's hard to let go of toxic people because they are familiar, but making the change makes life so much better.
"Dottie"
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