At 53 years old, I have worked very hard to get past all the crap thrown at me as a child. Let me tell you, it's never easy. I call myself a work in progress, like those highway jobs that never seem to be finished. Once they take the signs down and you think the work is done, they put up the barriers up again with another road project. Why?
Because those first formative years and all the programming that goes with it is hard to work!!
I've done about every self help there is over the last 30 years. In fact, I never stop. I equate it to walking up a down escalator. It can be done but it takes effort, perseverance, and coordination. The reward is reaching the top. I don't always look towards the top, but often finding myself focusing on one step at a time. Through all of this I am older, wiser and happier now. I AM A BETTER PERSON AND THE WORLD SEES THAT!!! I see that. I reflect on the bad things in my life; ways I acted, people I hurt, things I did unconsciously. I agree with the statement that awareness is 90% of it. Traveling down a road and not seeing the forks or exits only allows me to follow one path. Real change came from taking a candid look at my shortcomings. Awareness of my situation allows me to see those shortcomings and to work around them. Now when I travel down that road, I have choices - the forks and the exits didn't exist before. Of course that does not mean I always make the best choice or get off off at the correct exit. I DON'T ALWAYS! But at least I have a choice. That is what turning the bad into good means for me - awareness, choice, and action. It took me 53 years to get to where I am now. I'd be a fool to think all the trauma and dysfunction of my childhood is going to disappear overnight. I learn that every day with the mistakes I still make. If I can recognize the mistakes, then them I can work to change them too.
To paraphrase Rod Serling: "You're traveling through a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the signpost up ahead - your next stop" -- the I'm a Better Person Zone!
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