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05/26/2020
I've heard you advise private adoption to women struggling with infertility. My husband and I have one biological daughter and one daughter through private infant adoption. Having experienced both, I wanted to share some perspective. We met our adopted daughter the day she was born. When we had our biological child later, I found out that our feelings and love toward our girls were the same regardless of how they came to be ours. It was probably a little bit easier meeting our adopted child, because I wasn't physically and emotionally exhausted from hours of pushing!
There IS one big difference that I was never told about during the adoption process. After you give birth to a baby, it takes barely any time at all for them to recognize you as their mom. After a few days, they look at you and you can see total trust and love in their eyes, which is amazing. Our adopted daughter didn't spend 9 months in my womb, and it took longer for her to prefer me to other people. This wasn't a negative though, because when she DID finally look at me that way, and I knew she understood that I was her mom, I EARNED it. I can't think of a more humbling feeling than knowing that you have earned the trust and adoration of an innocent little human. I hope my experience will encourage anyone considering adoption. It is different, but no less beautiful. I wouldn't change a single thing about how our family became a family.
Bailey
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