Dear Dr. Laura -
Today is actually our 15th wedding anniversary, and as I think back over these years, my ideas and beliefs about marriage have changed.
As a child of divorce, I had no idea the baggage I brought into my marriage...I swore I wouldn't repeat the patterns of my parents, but found myself doing just that as time went on. I feared abandonment and was afraid to express my true feelings for fear of losing my husband. My husband's parents were also divorced, but he had done the "work" in therapy to move past many issues and was able to help me as well. Although I didn't want to believe I was wrong or that I was at fault, I was. Opening myself up and truly considering my husband's wishes and needs was the key - not just thinking of what I needed was a pivotal change.
Of course there have been many bumps in the road, but we both pledged our commitment to stay together for our two children, no matter what, and work through our differences. We are in a really good spot and my confidence in myself and our marriage is high. The advice we always give new couples is this: the two keys to a good marriage is a sense of humor and a short term memory. HaHa.
Thank you for your daily advice - you have helped us in many ways over the many years of listening to you.
Jeni
