Dr. Laura Blog

Why do kids need chores? Is it because we’re lazy parents? No - it’s because they need to learn life skills. Kids who learn to be self-sufficient at mastering tasks and feel valued as part of the family don’t collapse under peer pressure because they are confident in themselves. Love and work are the cornerstones of humanity, and people who don’t experience either don’t do well in life.

Here are 6 tips for creating chores for your children:

1. Start early. Even with 2-year-olds, you can start assigning age-appropriate tasks such as putting toys away in a box. As they get older, you give them other chores like setting the table, folding laundry, cleaning around the house, washing dishes, taking out the trash, feeding the animals, and gardening.

2. Always be very clear about what you want them to do.  Don’t just say, “Clean your room.” To a kid, that means shoving everything under the bed or in the closet. You need to be specific. For example, “Pick up the clothes and put them in the hamper.”

3. Give positive feedback. Instead of waiting until your child has finished cleaning their room, walk in while they are putting things away and say, “You’re doing a great job.”  That way, they get excited about doing a good job, and it motivates them to keep going.

4. Make chores fair.  Don’t have one child do the same chores all the time. Rotate.

5. Be reasonable with your expectations. If you want something done a certain way, show them how to do it. And don’t crush their spirit if they don’t do it right. The home should be a safe haven for learning.

6. Don’t use money as a reward system. You don’t want your kids to develop a sense of entitlement for every favor they do around the house. Instead, give out tokens for certain tasks. Buy toys or other reward items that your kids can earn once they’ve accumulated enough tokens.