Relationships

by Susan Allan
www.heartspacesolutions.com/coaching


Does your husband's head swivel whenever he spots a beautiful woman? Is he out "with the boys" every week? Is he running to the gym and actually losing weight? These are signs that you need to prevent an affair NOW. When wives worry that an affair is around the corner I have them avoid their "To Don't List" and use a To Do List and it will work for you, too! I teach women every week and I offer a 1-hour free telephone consultation. 

Some men marry for beauty, or for passion or humor and others for social and financial opportunities. If you were a CATCH and you've let it slip this is your Orange Alert that you need to reunite with your fabulous former self. 

1. Remember why he married you and do that! If you need to lose the weight; wear make-up and fit into your sexy wardrobe again do it ASAP. Ten minutes every single day doing serious exercise instead of snacking can make a huge difference in one month. And seeing you look better every day will remind him that your marriage is worth saving.  


2. Bring back mind-blowing honeymoon sex. Were you both crazy about each other and sexually creative? Since then, have you avoided spending time and energy on sex? The fastest way to prevent an affair is to have fabulous sex with your husband more not less and you need to initiate tonight to show him how much you want him. 


3. Gratitude is the secret ingredient: Try cooking without salt or baking without sugar- not easy is it? In the beginning of a great relationship you naturally say and demonstrate "thank you" a million times a week and one key to sustainable monogamy is appreciation. If you are complaining stop it!  If you are bickering, it's over. And if you need to understand what divorce will do to you just ask a friend. 


4. Teamwork is the basis of any great marriage. Did you look for someone to watch your back and stand shoulder to shoulder with you for a safe and successful life; and did he? Once you commit to being the peacemaker then choose a joint goal that you've let slide and take action that will benefit both of you. If you are a stay-at-home Mom discuss what's best financially for the whole family because many affairs begin with sexy financially independent women. 


5. Become a pleasure to live with every day. Life can be very tough and you and your family are your best chance against the world. Don't let yourself become part of the problem! When you dated you may have said "I'm not a morning person"; well now you are! Wake up and be a happy girl; happily enjoying your husband and your family and contributing and encouraging him every day. That's the woman that most men want to come home to every night.
   
   Remember that there are about 5 million women who would give anything to have your life; don't let them get it! If you're thinking "why do I need to be the one to make all the changes" please ask yourself who wants to prevent an affair- it's you, right! And if you feel hopeless, focus on how much you wanted a great husband and a great family before you met him. 

Susan Allan is America's leading Marriage and Divorce Coach, a certified mediator and founder of The Marriage Forum, Inc., a nonprofit company. Allan has appeared on hundreds of television and radio programs offering Heartspace(r) skills. Susan offers a complimentary 1-hour telephone session so that everyone may learn to transform their relationships. For more strategies visit www.heartspacesolutions.com/coaching. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.