Dr. Laura:

I'm an elementary school teacher, working with kids from kindergarten through the second grade.  I hear a lot of "tattling" and have to help kids resolve conflicts on a daily basis.  

I have a rule when it comes to resolving conflicts where an apology is in order.  First, I listen to both sides and make sure that I'm getting a straight story.  Then, if an apology is in order I don't accept a flippant "I'm sorry" from them.  I make them say they are sorry and state the reason why they're apologizing.  I also do not allow the child who is receiving the apology to say, "It's okay," because if it was okay, then it would not have been necessary for them to tattle in the first place.  I make them say "Thank you.  I accept your apology."

I also had the opportunity recently to have two little girls who don't like each other and have a hard time getting along resolve a problem by working together on it.  They didn't come away friends, but it was the first step in the right direction.  Even as young as these kids are, they can work through things with the proper guidance.

Lori