Dear Dr. Laura,

My husband and I have been married 38 years. We are both 62. We married at age 24 and had relatively few problems in our relationship until we had children at age 28.

I was very task oriented and child centered. My husband was frequently last on my priority list. I had so many duties pulling me in all directions, so I thought my husband should "man up & be a BIG BOY". My husband was frequently angry and hostile about his feelings of neglect.

There were MANY arguments between us and the big "D" word was sometimes mentioned. I had times where I did make him a priority, but it was so easy to get busy and fall back into the old ways. We were of Catholic faith and both of us knew that even though we had times of despair, we also had of great love between us. We both knew that we did not want to break up our family because this would mean hurting our three children deeply. We stayed together through the cycles of anger and love.

Our third child left for college when we were both 54. Oh my GOSH! We were just like newlyweds! We had more time for dates and could make love on a regular basis almost anytime we wanted. These past 8 years have not been perfect, but we now have more time to nurture out relationship and we are so happy.

So, my little bit of advice is: 

1. Practice "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" 

2. If you are both people of high character, who have been faithful to each other, PLEASE stay together! Don't give up on each other! The grass is not greener with someone else. Your children will remain happier and healthier!

As my husband and I grow old together I still see the hot young man with the 6 pack abs and long dark hair. He feels like home and that's where I am happy to stay. Thank you for helping me to keep him happy now in what I consider are the best years of our marriage.

Jenny



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