My husband and I recently celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary. We met in our 50's. Our children were grown and gone and we both felt blessed to have this second chance at happiness. 

Recently we were walking around the yard after dinner and I looked at my husband and asked, "Why do you think our marriage is so successful?" My husband, who is always a quick wit and very humorous said. "For me, I knew you would be the one when on that cold winter night, you slid across the seat of my old pickup truck to open the locked door before I could get the key in the lock." With a big smile, he said he learned about the "keeper test" from the movie the Bronx Tale. He said he tried it out on two other women who he thought might be a possibility, but I was the only one who made the effort that day and continue to make the extra effort every day. 

That extra effort is based on two concepts you suggested. The first is that love is a verb. I could not believe how small actions like a simple shoulder rub or bringing him a cold glass of water on a hot day would make such a difference. The second action I follow is before I walk in the door after a bad day I always say, "Would I want to come home to me?" The result of this attitude is a husband who continues to spoil me with little extras such as cooking me a special meal just because, cleaning the house, and he even cleans windows! We always make sure we share a cup a coffee in the morning and talk about our challenges of the day. No matter what the day brings, it is an incredible feeling to have such a partnership. 

So Dr. Laura, I want to say to the women who think the birthday or Valentine's Day flowers or jewelry is what makes a marriage, how mistaken they are. I have that shiny jewelry too but mine is called looking at a beautiful sunrise through those squeaky clean kitchen windows! 

Diane