I consider myself fairly adept at most outdoor sports. I hunt, fish and do most any outdoor activity. Last month, my wife of 30 years and I celebrated our anniversary in Jamaica at an all-inclusive resort. One of the activities we could do was go sailing. I thought, hell, if Dr. Laura can do it, I certainly can. Wrong!!!

We got the customary instructions from the sailing instructor and like most guys; I listened to about 50% of it. Meanwhile, my lovely bride listened with intent. We hop on the hobie craft and off we went. All was good until we got about 100 yards from shore. I lost the wind and there we sat motionless. My lovely wife, the CPA who probably took notes, politely repeated what the instructor said to do with the sail and the rudder. But I'm the big game hunter and I know nature. Wrong again. To make matters worse, the instructor begins shouting at me from the shore to "turn in to the wind", which I thought I was doing. Finally, we set sail and I finally figured it out but not without eating some humble pie. My wife Elizabeth gently tunrned to me and said, "Oh what would your gal Dr. Laura think of you now". I had no response.

After a few adult beverages and a huge dose of humility, I admitted that there are some things that this warrior of a husband just can't do. The combination of too many ropes, rudders and my frustration with not being able to control the wind beat me. As I promised to my wife, this is my confession and I will leave the sailing to the professionals. 



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