October 7, 2013
7 Ways to Emerge from Heartbreak Better than Ever Sherrie Campbell, Ph.D. SherrieCampbellPhD.com Breakups are perhaps one of the most devastating experiences we can have in life. When we have been so in love with someone, let our guards down and given our hearts, the loss of this relationship can produce a host of very negative experiences from shock, anger, debilitating sadness, a lack of understanding and numbness. It shatters your identity. There is nothing easy about loss or going through the grief, but there is one thing you can hold tight to and never lose and that is how you handle yourself after a break up. If you do it correctly, you will find a respect for yourself you never knew you could have. 7 Ways to Emerge from Heartbreak Better than Ever 1. Accept that break ups hurt like hell: This is the very first step. You are going to be traveling a grueling and painful road for a while. The heart heals much slower than the mind wants to move, so if you can understand this from the start then you will heal more efficiently and authentically. Be open to and prepared for it to hurt and hurt for as long as it is going to. 2. Have a plan: When dealing with shock and profound change it is helpful to create a plan. Figure out where you need to move, know what friends and family you have to help you and support you, get into some therapy, stay busy with work, exercise, eat correctly, get enough rest and your emotions will be easier to manage. 3. Silence speaks louder than words: Staying silent after a split is the most important plan of action. You cannot force someone to love you and the more you try, the more respect you lose for yourself and from your ex. Groveling is not classy. 4. Knowledge is power: Read everything you can on how to get through a breakup. Educate yourself on loss, on how to deal with shock, and strategies to deal with your emotions. If you have been dumped by a man, study male psychology to help you understand how he is thinking. If you have been dumped by a girl, study female psychology to better understand her. This understanding will help you heal. 5. Self-Control: Remember you are in control of you. Controlling your impulses to call, contact, stalk and talk to you partner takes willpower, but it is 100% necessary if you are to come out of this break up with your dignity. Self-control is sexy and it is the best way to get your ex to feel regret. If you cannot control yourself and you give your ex a safety net, there will be no rush for your ex to change their mind. 6. Keep Moving: Whatever you do don't stop. Movement is power. Make time for the tears and the tissue but keep moving. Exercise, eat great, work hard, read, journal, go out with friends, and smile through the tears. Movement shows your ex you can live without him/her and be happy doing it. Most importantly you show this to yourself. 7. Get better not bitter: Go out in the world and be loving toward others. Do not let one person make you bitter towards humankind. When we are loving toward others we draw love back to us. Be a beacon of light in your weakest times and see how much you have the power to shift your world. If you take these seven steps you will increase your confidence and self-respect. When you can control your needy desperate feelings and you can take care of them yourself, not only do you increase in your maturity and elegance, but you also ensure that if your ex did not respect you at the time of the break up, your ex will have the utmost respect for you now. Little life message: No ex is worth your dignity. Respect yourself enough to take on the brave task of letting go. There is nothing so beautiful as to know that even with broken wings you can still fly. Dr. Sherrie Campbell is the author of Loving Yourself and a licensed psychologist with more than 19 years of clinical training and experience. She provides practical tools to help people overcome obstacles to self-love and truly achieve an empowered life. Click here to get her free article, "Five Ways to Make Love the Common Ground in Your Communication." She is a featured expert on a variety of national websites and has a successful practice in Southern California. Receive free insights from Sherrie and be involved in her Facebook community of others looking to improve their relationships. For more information visit SherrieCampbellPhD.com. Permission granted for use on DrLaura.com.Posted by Staff at 7:44 AM |