Under the guise of helping, caring, loving, and supporting, many parents actually end up doing more harm than good. Here are 5 ways you are unintentionally destroying your child’s confidence:

1. You don’t treat your child as their own person. As Mr. Rogers used to say, “Everybody is special, and everybody is different.” Your child is an individual human being. I have had parents of adults call my show complaining that they are not happy with their child’s career choice. They tell me, “I’d much rather that they did ____.” Well, who asked your opinion? It’s their life, not yours. Signing your kids up for music lessons to try something new is good, but forcing them to keep taking lessons when they hate it is not. Let your kids indulge in the things they’re passionate about. That will lead them somewhere. If you kill their passion, the only place it will lead is drugs or living in your basement when they’re 30.  

2. You compare them to their siblings. Comparing your child to their siblings is like saying that you don’t like who they are. The only person you should compare your child to is themselves (e.g. “I see that you’re applying yourself a lot more than you were before. I’m really impressed.”).

3. You are overprotective. Let your child figure out how to deal with certain things on their own.

4. You belittle their mistakes. Kids make mistakes, and they don’t need you to constantly remind them of their bad decisions and failures. Instead, brainstorm with them on how to fix problems, and give them the encouragement they need to right their wrongs.

5. You have unrealistic expectations. Maybe your child isn’t capable of all A’s in every subject. So what? You may think you’re being motivational, but you’re really being destructive.