I've been married for 15 years: my second, his first. I think when you are married, 90% of the time you need to be honest and not hide things from your spouse, but there are some things, mainly from your past, that may not be something you want to tell your spouse. But for the most of the time, I believe a marriage needs to have communication and honesty. I got into a mess a few years ago by not telling my husband about financial issues. I paid all the bills and I didn't want to tell him if we were struggling. I just handled it and stressed about it by myself. I learned that it was wrong, because when it got really bad and I ended up telling him, he got upset that I was hiding it from him.  This goes for things with kids' issues or anything. Now we try to keep open about things, bad or good.

Susan