Many parents will tell their kids that they can do anything they want and that everything they do is great in order to protect them from failure. However, blowing smoke about how wonderful they are doesn’t help kids - it handicaps them from coping with real life. As any successful person will tell you, there is no success without failure.

So instead of skirting around the truth, here are 7 things you should teach your kids to help them deal with failure:

1. Losing is every bit as important for personal growth as winning. Handing out participation trophies and rewarding kids for doing nothing will teach them nothing

2. Not everybody has the same gifts - you have to figure out yours. Even if you suck at singing or can’t throw a ball straight, you can still be really good at something else. Everybody has a talent. One thing I really liked about Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood is that Mr. Rogers never said all kids are wonderful at everything. He would say, “You are a special you, and there’s no one else like you.” He never said, “Try to be like someone else,” or, “You can do whatever you want,” because you can’t!

3. Every mistake is an opportunity to learn. What went wrong? Was it your fault or a bad break? What did you learn? What do you need to change?

4. When you figure out something you were struggling with, help someone else who is struggling. The best way to learn something is to teach it, and it’s always great to help others.

5. Focus on the next ball. You can’t hit a good shot if you’re still focused on a bad one.

6. Perseverance and consistency matter more than winning. A building takes a lot of bricks, and you can’t be fixated on only one of them. Maybe you still haven’t reached the top, but you’re consistently doing better than you were before. What’s important is not so much that you’ve reached your destination but that you’re moving in the right direction.

7. Have a sense of humor when you lose. Be able to laugh at your mistakes. And when you win, act classy.