Hi, Dr. Laura, 

I heard a call from a lady asking about whether or not she had to include her son's wife's three children from a previous relationship along with her two natural grandchildren. 

I sat back and said a prayer of gratitude about my situation. When my husband and I married 20 years ago, I had an 11-year-old son. When my in-laws met my son for the first time, they started calling him "Grandson" and included him in everything. A year later, when my husband and I discovered I was pregnant against huge odds - another story for another time - my in-laws made a special visit just to see my son. They then sat my husband and I down and reminded us that our commitment to "our" son was still a top priority, and not to let our relationship with him get lost with the new baby. When my daughter was born, they made special efforts to spend time with him as well as the new baby.

Over the past 20 years, they have always treated both of my children with love, respect and tenderness. As both of my in-laws were a bit older when my husband and I married, we have now reached the time where my mother-in-law is having problems remembering things; actually, we are slowly losing her to silence as she struggles to remember her life. As painful as this is, I am still watching the love and tenderness on her face every time she sees BOTH of my children. My heart bursts with pride as I listen to them speak to her so gently, listening to her ask the same question 5 times in an hour, tell the same story from years ago 3 or 4 times in an hour, and never once do they sound impatient or irritated. They just listen attentively, answer her repeated questions enthusiastically and hug her more every time they see her.

Maybe your listener with the 3 "step" grandchildren can understand that sometimes you truly do get what you give. Thank you for all you do and for fighting the good fight.

Kim