Dr. Laura:

I have been happily married to the same man for 30 years.  We have two grown children.  I have been told countless times from family, friends, and acquaintances throughout my married life that I am "lucky" - lucky to have a wonderful husband who still loves and cherishes me after all these years; lucky to have been a stay-at-home mom; lucky to have respectful, caring, loving and well-behaved children.

I do have all these things, so while I always agreed with those commenting
and was thankful to them, the comments left me feeling somewhat deflated.  After listening to you for the past few years, I have been enlightened.

I realize I am NOT lucky.  I am a woman who has given careful thought to the decisions I made in life.  I made a great choice in picking a husband.  While we dated, we spent time talking about everything from our dreams, goals, passions, families, traditions, religion, and what we hoped for in our future.  I treated and still treat him with the love, respect, and trust he deserves, and I show him that he is special to the family and me.  We made the choice for me to stay at home with the children.  We planned.  We changed our lifestyle so we could live on one salary.  Our children are respectful, caring and loving because we chose to be active parents in their lives.  

I now understand why I used to feel deflated at all those "lucky" comments.  Stating that a person is "lucky" implies they didn't have to work hard, make sacrifices and sometimes very hard choices.  It strips away all the accomplishment.  Thank you for waking me up to the fact that I made specific choices that led to such a good life, and thank you for all that you do.


Michelle