Hi Dr. Laura,

My husband and I have been married 25 years. Our youngest son is expecting his first child. My husband decided to send him some advice regarding being a father. - Lisa

"I know you didn't ask, but I think a little advice, or lessons learned, about expecting a baby and having an expecting mother in the house is needed. I wish someone would have told me this stuff. Here we go:

First, this is a team effort. She is not pregnant alone and you need to keep reminded her that you are in this with her. As soon as she feels like she is doing this alone, it all goes to hell in a hand basket. The thing is, you have to step up the effort to keep her from feeling that way. It doesn't take much at all to push her over the edge. Which leads to the second part of my lessons learned…

Second, your loving and caring wife has now become a deadly ticking estrogen time bomb. That bomb is ready to blow at any time and you can never know just when. The good news is, you have strong control of the timer. You can't diffuse or stop it but you can move it back as often as you wish. Small daily efforts move it back in small chunks. These efforts include: 1. Bring her flowers every once in a while. 2. Hug her when you get home and ask her how her day was and then shut up and listen. 3. Tell her about your day. 4. Sit with her for no reason at all. 5. Generally give her some daily attention. Larger efforts move the timer back further, such as: 1. Picnic in the park 2. Take her for a drive through the countryside. 3. Take her to a movie, museum or other attraction she will enjoy. 4. Have flowers delivered for no reason. You get the idea. Pretend you are dating her and trying to get her to like you.

Later in the pregnancy other opportunities will pop up. She may need you to tie her shoes, rub her ankles or kill some son-of-a-bitch that's pissing her off hopefully that individual is not you. The whole point is pregnant women NEED a lot more attention than normally or very bad things happen. She may not kill you, but you sure will wish you were dead. She may be the one carrying the baby, but you have to carry mommy. AND, we are all here to help."