The biggest lie I ever told myself was when someone else bothered me.  A lot of my own misery was caused by my habit of feeling sorry for myself and playing the victim. I do not have the luxury to indulge in that stuff and have a happy life, never mind joyous and free.

Because of this change in MY attitude - I have much better relationships with my two daughters and friends who disappointment me. Some I had to let go of as they were living lives that were immoral and expecting me to validate them. I even had to let go of a relationship with my oldest sister because I tried and tried and thought things would change - we were both adults now - but they didn't. So I can bless her from 5,000 miles away and remember the great things I loved about her as we grew up. She was an integral part of my happiness and even affection as a child. But we all change somewhat as we get older.

Now I write a gratitude list so when my daughter disappoints me and I feel sad and want to hold up a martyrdom sign saying POOR ME while walking Main Street, I think about what my part is in these emotions.  It generally boils down to self-pity and a dash of fear that I would lose the love that is there. So no matter what another person does - I have free choice as to what I DO about it and self-pity serves no purpose unless it motivates me to CHANGE into a better person and experience happiness, joy and freedom - the things I am sure are God's Will for me.

Marlowe