It never ceases to amaze me when I hear so many spouses calling into you, expecting so much from their spouse when they've given so little!  Many years ago, my husband and I bought a house.  Although he trusts me with money, I always ask for his agreement when I spend more than fifty dollars on something.  As I was shopping for remodeling materials, I asked for a lot of extra money for carpet, landscaping and more.  His reply was always "If you think we can afford it, do it."  I kept the accounts, and budgeted heavily, eliminating some things, and pocketing enough extra so I could surprise him on his birthday with a used truck of his dreams three months after the house purchase.

I parked the truck in the garage and surprised him with a party, which included his buddies and their spouses.  I told him his birthday gift was in the garage.  He was expecting a new riding mower.  I never told any of his friends what I had bought, so when my husband drove the truck out of the garage, his buddies were blown away.  I was surprised how pouty the wives were, because, in their minds, I had "outdone" them because they would never have gone to the trouble I did.  Twenty years later, most of those couples are divorced.

It's so easy to put your spouse first.  In doing so, my king treats me like a queen.  We have lived modestly, but celebrated marriage royally.  It's so less stressful than scraping for attention.  Keep teaching those who have ears to hear how to create an atmosphere for marital prosperity.  We raised six adopted teens and three birth children, and no one lives in our basement and none is divorced!

Rosemarie