December 12, 2013
My Nightmare Led to My Awakening - Literally and Figuratively

 

The other day, I woke up in a sweat after having a dream my husband was having an affair. In my dream, I ran into him and his average looking mistress standing with their arms wrapped around each other at some random social event. I woke up angry and worried and defiant. I shook off the dream after telling him about it...to which he responded "Hm, I wonder who it was?" which only infuriated me further.

A couple days went by and he let me know he would be an hour later than normal.  My husband RARELY comes home late from work. As I listened, a little voice in the back of my mind was saying, "Sure, customer issues. You never help me out. You don't appreciate what I do. I bet you met someone more interesting at work and you're out with her right now." As a result of these thoughts, I was pretty quiet when he got home because I had already run a million scenarios through my mind....from checking his texts, uncovering infidelity, storming around the house, etc.  He has always been cranky if he had to work later than usual, but this time, he came in, kissed our girls and was fairly pleasant. He helped me take care of the kids while I got dinner in the oven. I usually have to ask for help before he will get a clue. He changed the baby's diaper before I had even smelled a thing. I decided to get out of the house and go grocery shopping. When I got home 2 hours later, he had fed and put both girls to bed! He has NEVER put both girls to bed, much less without me asking. I was quiet all night and I attribute it to my nausea at the thought he may have a piece on the side and just being at a complete loss as to what I would do if that were true. I hardly slept all night. I also didn't have to nudge and nag my husband to get up to feed the baby when it was his turn.

The next morning, I came to the conclusion that if he cheated, it was my fault because I was not the most pleasant person to be with. I was no longer his girlfriend. I realized he took so much initiative the previous night without me saying a word because he wanted to help me, not because I was asking for it.

These past 3 days have been amazingly eye-opening. I have started to listen and watch him the way I used to. I have a long way to go, but I am thankful that you taught me to be aware of such scenarios before we have passed the point of no return. In return, he has been helpful, loving, fun and happy. Thank you, Dr Laura, for teaching me to assess myself instead of just getting angry and blaming others.

Linda


Posted by Staff at 11:30 AM